Teach Those Kids a Lesson!

Teacher Spanks JohnnyTeacher Spanks Johnny

Submitter: The book is called Teacher Spanks Johnny: A Handbook for Teachersby Catherine Humbargar Rovetta and Leon Rovetta (I’d love to meet their children now).  Being a teacher myself, I just HAD to have this book.  Empty threats are no more in my classroom!  Not after a quick reference to page 18 in the chapter titled Force Used on Pupil By Teacher where it states that “five blows with a ping-pong paddle is not unreasonable force“.  (Actually, I’ve never even dared to bring this book into my school for fear of it falling out of my bag or being discovered by the wrong person).  Though the book is not loudly “condoning” corporal punishment in school, it does offer some sort of a shortcut for anyone in the mood to offer a few, quick lashes to a deserving student or two.  It is meant to help the teacher understand the possible consequences of their aggressive (yet nurturing?)  actions by referencing some similar court cases.  So – the author is basically saying,do what you want to these little insubordinates, but first see what happened to the last guy that did it.  If he’s not in trouble for doing it, then swing away!!

I do enjoy this book.  Every modern parent should read it before enrolling their student in a public school so they can finally take a break from pointing their fingers in our faces, put the phone down and thank us for coming so far today.  For what we must put up with in the course of one school day, I think it’s best to say that patience is a virtue and your children are lucky that they only got 10 minutes taken away from their recess – could have been a meter stick, is all I’m sayin’.”
Holly: That pretty much says it all. Thanks, submitter!


  1. Does anyone else think it’s hilarious that the publisher is the Willow House Publishers? Weren’t willow trees the trees of choice for switches?

  2. Wow. I found only 3 copies in MI through MEL, and all were at Universities. Those college kids are just so HORRIBLE!!! lol

  3. Hey Teacher, leave that kid alone!

    Poor Johnny!
    A quick search of WordCat reveals that he can’t read, write, lead, learn, add, eat, sell, preach, putt, fight,think, behave, dismount, concentrate, interface, read Chinese, read Greek, walk to school, go home, get a job, tell right from wrong or discriminate as to his womenfolk.

    He also hates sports, takes drugs, burns down his school, isn’t in school, isn’t crying, is in jail, is detached, is dead, won’t cooperate, didn’t intervene or interfere, still can’t read, aint never gonna read, and should learn foreign languages.

    But he can multiply, read Chinese(?), get A’s, and won’t quit!

  4. I bet I can tell how their kids turned out. They didn’t do drugs. Never joined a gang. Aren’t sexually promiscuous. Work hard. Give to charity.

    Just like me. An adult whom was spanked – as a last resort when no other punishment worked – as a child.

    Sometimes when I see all the kids who are pregnant, bring guns to school, vandalize, etc, I can’t help but think schools should bring back spanking.

    1. Studies show that you are actually not the norm.

      But, hey, at least I know that if you ever do something I don’t approve of, hitting you will “fix” your behavior. Or does it only work for children because they aren’t people??

      1. Lisa Sue, you got something wrong!

        Yes, children are humans – but they are not adults.

        If you don’t like some adults behavior call the police. But if you don’t like some childrens behavior talk to their parents.

        Thats because is called ‘to parent’…

  5. @Callah, I saw that too. Yes they did (willow is strong and flexible). I can imagine the other books they published: “Beating Rover: A Handbook for Dog Owners” and “When They Have It Coming: A Handbook For Husbands”.

  6. I need this book to sit right next to my edition of The Art of Hating. By the way, you should add that to this blog. From my copy from Hatcher Graduate Library, it seems this book has been pulled by the headband from the shelf MANY times though never truly read. Turns out, it’s a psychology book about how hating the right things will help you.

  7. Well put me down under “not the norm” then as well since I was spanked/switched as a last resort (very last resort, but it was done). As was my sibblings and a few of my friends in our neighborhood. As jami points out, none of us turned into gang members, promiscuous folks, or criminals.

    Probably the main reason, studies or not, why we have the many ills we have today is because parents just don’t discipline their kids anymore. This whole “self-esteem” feel good mantra is why kids in schools today feel entitled to pretty much wreak havoc in schools. They know there are no solid consequences. Believe you me: when I went to school, if a teacher for any reason called home because I was creating problems (very rare. If anything I was extremely well-behaved, again, not normal I guess, to some), my parents would be there the next morning, but not before they dealt with me the night before. And believe you me, you’d get no more trouble out of me. I turned out just fine so did my brothers.

    But hey, I am not normal.

    Best, and keep on blogging.

  8. My dad made me and my brother wrap the new wooden spoons he got her for Christmas every year. I always hated doing that, knowing they’d only be used against me at some point! The wooden pizza shovel didn’t hurt as bad, though that was the item my brother and I always tried to hide under the couch.
    I found the wet bar of soap in my mouth when I said a bad word or sassed to be very effective.

  9. It depends on the child, or even the place, really. Where I grew up, the people who were spanked weren’t just walloped on the butt as a last resort, they were beaten all to hell, which in turn had a worse effect then those kids who were treated with that ‘feel good’ stuff. You can discipline someone without causing them physical pain. I should know, I have two kids of my own. I’ve never once spanked or slapped, but they know that when they do something wrong, they aren’t going to like the consequences.

    See, that’s the thing! Consequences. They don’t have to be something that the child is terrified of, just a punishment that is justified in lieu of their actions. If the consequences is too much, they’re going to become brain-dead sheep who do what they’re told because they’re terrified rather then because they know it’s right, or they’re going to rebel and make life worse.

    But again, it depends on the child. Each and every situation is different.

    I’d buy this book just to get a good laugh, but at the same time, it’s extremely sad that some people take it seriously.

  10. I wasn’t spanked as a child, and I also grew up to be a reasonable, non-criminal, hard-working member of society.

    Sheesh, spanking is not a magic panacea to make perfect children. It can be abusive. It can be completely ineffective. Obviously for some people it worked as discipline.

    But frankly, given that discipline methods that DON’T involve hitting children can work, I really don’t see an overwhelming reason TO hit children…and I damned well wouldn’t want teachers or any other adults hitting my hypothetical children.

Comments are closed.