crisis of working mothers cover

Mother Guilt

Crisis of the Working Mother
Resolving the Conflict Between Family and Work
Berg
1986

Well this little book was geared to my generation as we hit the job market in the 80s. For most working mothers, you got the choice of being a bad mother or a bad (read unreliable) woman. (Sadly, not much has changed for most women, especially in terms of compensation and benefits.) It took me until my kids were in middle school that I quit caring about my standing as a good mother. A school staffer mentioned to me that my kid was in trouble because I was a selfish working mother. I reminded said staffer that my kid is a 12 year old boy whose life mission is to drive others to drink on his way to becoming an evil genius. I wish I’d had the guts to ask her if she called my husband to complain about my kid.

you can't do it all cover

Advice for (Privileged) Mothers

You Can’t Do It All
Ideas that work for mothers who work
Lew
1986

Books like this make me mad. They particularly made me mad in the late 1980s and early 90s when I was in child hell. I would bet I read every single one of these books and no one had a “solution”. Because there isn’t one.

What all these books fail to understand is that regardless of what you do (or don’t do), someone will criticize your choice and make you feel lousy. Take your choice: you can be a bad mother or a bad employee.  If you are really trying, you can be both!