Secret Librarian Wishes

Librarian's Secret Wish coverThe Librarian’s Secret Wish

I didn’t realize that as a profession we are more prone to secrets than the rest of the working world.  From yesterday’s secret scandal to today’s secret wish.   As we read on the inside flap, our smart girl librarian Claire knows all about sex and romance from books.  (I totally want to see her pathfinder on this subject!)  Again, we have lovely library themed cover art and of course our librarian heroine has a bun in her hair. As a public librarian for lo these many years,  I also have secret (and not so secret) wishes:

-That well-meaning people would not say to me “it must be fun to get paid to read all day”

-I also wish that you would see the irony of using the library to help you copy your Tea Party flyers.

-I also wish you wouldn’t ask me which Facebook picture is the right amount of “slutty”.

-I wish librarians were paid millions of dollars.

-I wish I had an unlimited budget.

Never a dull moment in the world of library work….



Librarian's Secret Wish back cover

Librarian's Secret Wish teaser


  1. He can’t be that great of a detective if that’s the missing kid under the table there!

  2. I’m with you… I would love it if people (including family members, mind you) would stop with the “You have the most fun job! I would love to just read to kids all day!” At least someone gets her wish! Lucky Claire!

  3. I’ve got a few wishes too!

    1: I wish people wouldn’t yell at me over a 25 cent fine.

    2: I wish Fairy Tales were labeled different and not with the Dewey. (They’re ALL 398, people.)

    3: I wish I could get on America’s Got Talent, make it about 5 rounds (those that make it so far and not win get better contracts than those who do), and be able to quit the library.

    4: I wish that the other libraries with computers were open on Sundays so we wouldn’t be quite so crowded.

  4. Doesn’t the detective realize there’s a child looking up the librarian’s skirt?

  5. typical-she’s got a kid looking up her skirt and a guy looking down her shirt. yessiree, that’s what ya get your masters for!

  6. OOooh, thanks ALB! I believe that THIS is the book I gave my ex boss whom I sheleved books for as an undergard for her birthday teh year I graduated. Love these books. I got it for a quarter at a thrift store.

    My secret library wishes
    1) I wish I could fine the people who arbitrarily take paper out of the printer without asking
    2) I wish I could deck the people that call me “library lady” when they see me outside of the library
    3) I wish more people understood the Library Congress system of classification
    4) I wish the gnat who comes in every single day every day of the week and then complains about the computers not working because she has no clue how to be patient and use them properly would realize that she wastes her life on a daily basis slamming down the mouse while checking her facebook and email a zillion times throughout the day while the rest of us go outside for air and enjoy life.

    I wish!

  7. While everyone else is wishing, here are mine as well:

    1. I wish students would stop asking me to get Justin Beiber books.
    2. I wish books weren’t so bloody expensive.
    3. I wish laminators weren’t so touchy.
    4. I wish the bun wasn’t such a librarian-esque do.

    Thanks for your time!

  8. That boy looks very photoshopped-in. The detective didn’t see him because he wasn’t there!

    I wish they wouldn’t hang up ridiculous signs and posters without asking the librarians first!

  9. Her secret wish is for bookends so the shelves that are not crammed full with books can look tidy. That and to have the boy scrape gum from underneath tables in another section so she can get busy with Nate. Are those Nate’s glasses or hers?

  10. I don’t think that’s a real library where they are. The books behind them look like those “buy books by the yard” sets, and they have no spine labels.

  11. Just exactly what is the irony of using the library to help copy tea party fliers? Are libraries going to be eliminated if the tea party gets their way? Is it ironic for the socialist party to use the library copiers? Are library copiers designated only for the use of the politically approved?

  12. Love the Tea Party comment.
    The bun and glasses annoy me: it associates reading and librarianship with primness and damaged eyesight. The removed glasses (like lots of Hollywood films) imply that being intellectual isn’t properly womanly – they have to come off to reveal the ‘true’ beautiful sexual woman underneath, which is just wrong. And in any case, if they’re off, she becomes an object to be looked at rather than an actively gazing woman.
    Ooh, it’s all so reactionary!

  13. My secret library wishes:
    That those who steal from the library (including not returning books) go bald and get warts.
    or: that I could have a library swat team to go to people’s houses and get our books back. (I fantasize about this one)

    That the woman who comes into the library to use the computer and then complaints that she prefers her’s at home because that one’s predictable, it never works, would stay home.

    That the guy who left a nasty note on the library door the day we were closed due to a snow day would get a life….

  14. @Plashing Vole – it’s because the Tea Party is against government spending, and libraries tend to operate on government spending.

  15. This makes me giggle.

    I don’t work at a library at the moment.. (I know, sadface!) but when I did.. my secret wishes would have been 1.) No more shelf reading, and 2.) That the kids weren’t that really gross kind of slobbery sticky that made me not want to have to touch them to shelf them. Oh.. and also that that one lady would stop eating powdered sugar donuts while reading the romance novels. 🙁 I could track her by the powdered sugar fingerprints.

  16. There’s so much ignorance on a blog for and from intelligent people. The Tea Party isn’t against government spending or taxes. It’s simply for responsible use of them. Tea Party members value libraries and education as much as anyone else – please don’t believe the stereotypes. I know you don’t care, but I was really disappointed to read your comment, Mary.

    1. @erika and @jami please don’t read too much into that comment. I had to wait on a difficult customer that was extolling many tea party claims and specifically claiming that libraries were “wastes of taxpayer money”. All while I was helping him (very politely!) with library services. I am probably the most apolitical (maybe cynical) librarian you would possibly meet but I did find this situation amusing. As an aside, he did thank me for my help. I have also waited on religious zealots, people with various types of mental illness, people wanting to sell me insurance, people that complain about the leftest leanings in the collection and people that complain about my right wing agenda. One person and a couple of comments don’t define a movement, agenda or anything else. It is all just the wonderful world of public library service. We serve everyone!

  17. So, what’s wrong with wearing glasses? I wear them because my allergies got sooo bad. My contacts were floating right out of my eyes1 Yes, I work in a library.

  18. @Justin – Oversimplifying and stereotyping a bit, aren’t you? It’s RIDICULOUS government OVERSPENDING on things the American public do not want, like socialized medicine, that the Tea Party is against. Not against needed services like public libraries. There might be a few psychos who are like that – but then again, there’s uber-liberals who have their own psycho tenancies as well.

    What the Tea Party wants is tax cuts that will help the economy by making new jobs and no more stimulus packages.

  19. @ Kata – There IS a book that indulges your library SWAT team fantasies: BOOKHUNTER by Jason Shiga (cartoonist, best known for MEANWHILE, I think). He’s done time in the Oakland public libraries, and the book is over-the-top funny. A great graphic novel for librarians as well as teens.

  20. @justin
    It wasn’t me who made pro-Tea Party comments: I’m a socialist and I don’t live in your country. I like taxes and big government, because they pay for universal healthcare, great education and yes, public libraries. I feel very sad that your great country is plagued by the Tea Party (as someone pointed out, the original Tea Party featured poor people dressed up as a murdered race protesting against the rich being taxed: just like now). The UK government has a conservative government and lo and behold, they’re closing down libraries!

    I’d be in favour of refusing government services to people who espouse Tea Party positions. We’ll see how many of them manage without their Medicare…

  21. i wish i didn’t get threatened to be reported to the mayor, city council, the president, etc every time we open 45 seconds late…

  22. “The Tea Party isn’t against government spending or taxes. ”

    Really. You’d better tell that to the Koch brothers and Fox “news” as they made up the Tea Part out of whole cloth. Better check their platforms before saying you’re one of them.

  23. Hilarious stereotypes in the romance – hey, if we librarians can’t laugh at ourselves, we’re just as stuffy and prudish as they think we are. I haven’t worked in a public library in years, but my secret wishes would be all of the above! It’s too bad these comments deteriorated into a political squabble…everything in the USA seems to these days. Such a pity.

  24. I’m not going to share my secret librarian wish… because then it wouldn’t be secret. 😉

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