Awful Library Books

Your cat’s sex life

August 5, 2009 Holly Critters 16 comments

My Cat’s in Love or, How to Survive Your Feline’s Sex life, Pregnancy and Kittening
Manolson
1970

Isn’t the cover of this book a hoot? I also love the title. There’s some useful information in this book, although I’m sure I could find it in a more current book than 1970. It’s entirely possible that some of the spaying/neutering techniques have changed since then. Either way, I learned something here. I didn’t know that the female equivalent to a “tom” cat is a “queen.” Public libraries need to do better than this antique.

Teach Those Kids a Lesson!

July 30, 2009 Holly Parent/Teacher Collection 17 comments

Teacher Spanks Johnny
Rovetta
1968

Submitter: The book is called Teacher Spanks Johnny: A Handbook for Teachersby Catherine Humbargar Rovetta and Leon Rovetta (I’d love to meet their children now). Being a teacher myself, I just HAD to have this book. Empty threats are no more in my classroom! Not after a quick reference to page 18 in the chapter titled Force Used on Pupil By Teacher where it states that “five blows with a ping-pong paddle is not unreasonable force“. (Actually, I’ve never even dared to bring this book into my school for fear of it falling out of my bag or being discovered by the wrong person). Though the book is not loudly “condoning” corporal punishment in school, it does offer some sort of a shortcut for anyone in the mood to offer a few, quick lashes to a deserving student or two. It is meant to help the teacher understand the possible consequences of their aggressive (yet nurturing?) actions by referencing some similar court cases.

Easy DOS It!

July 28, 2009 Holly Bleeding Edge 18 comments

Easy DOS It!
Bauer
1985

There very well might be a reason why someone would want to learn DOS. The information in this book is readily available without having to make space in the crowded computer section for this ancient book. A small/medium sized public library’s computer section reveals the library’s relevancy, so effort should be made to keep it up to date.

I just love the cover, though. It definitely looks like computer clip art from 1985! Gotta love the $5 price tag.

What’s Wrong with My Snake?

July 24, 2009 Holly Critters 31 comments

What’s Wrong with My Snake?
Rossi
1996

Come on, admit it. The cover made you laugh. Is your snake feeling a bit under the weather? Just glove up and tell it to say “ahhh.”

This is a very useful book, and if it were re-published today I would buy a copy for my public library. That doesn’t make the cover any less funny.

Chapters on constipation and diarrhea, for example, would come in handy if you had a snake with those problems. Believe me, you want the proper technique when administering an enema to your pet python.

A Grave Matter…

July 22, 2009 Holly Craptastic Crafts and Hobbies 41 comments

Do-It-Yourself Coffins: For Pets and People
Power
1997

An ALB tipster put me on to this title. I was DYING to get my hands on it. With a bit of gallows-type humor (mostly puns), this book details wood carving for coffins for both humans and pets. Really. No, there is nothing WRONG with this book. It really is a good choice for a wood working collection. Given the condition of the copy I saw, this particular book has been well loved. I will not “out” the owning library because maybe they have a huge woodworking patronage (or a rather macabre clientele).

Pantyhose – not just for legs!

July 21, 2009 Holly Craptastic Crafts and Hobbies 22 comments

More Great Pantyhose Crafts
Baldwin
1985

Submitter: “We were fascinated by the full-sized hammock constructed of pantyhose and plastic six-pack rings, and thought it would make a great staff development day team-building activity to make one ourselves. Alas…..”

Holly: Once, again, here’s a really cool find! There’s not a single thing “wrong” with this book. The copy I got a hold of is in great physical shape. There are definitely people who would be interested in making crafts out of just about anything…including pantyhose. Every library and community is different.

Crafts for (the) retarded?

July 19, 2009 Holly Craptastic Crafts and Hobbies, Parent/Teacher Collection 100 comments

Crafts for Retarded: Through their hands they shall learn
McNiece
1964

Some librarian spies from the west sent along this wonderful title to ALB. I am not quite sure of the craft on the front, but the spies sent along a page featuring this ultra cool Indian tom-tom craft. A quote from the cover blurb: “This book is written primarily for teachers and for parents whose youngsters have come into the world with less potential than the so-called ‘average’ child.” Submitters say: “What better way to raise a child’s potential than by teaching him or her to stretch a goat skin to make a drum, then paint swastikas on it?”

Passion for Donkeys

July 17, 2009 Holly Critters 21 comments

A Passion for Donkeys
Svendsen
1988

From anonymous submitter:

“It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to get into the donkey-breeding business. I understand that passion is the key to life, and I like to think I’m open-minded, but anyone with a passion for donkeys probably needs psychiatric help.”

Holly’s commentary:

Too funny! I love it! There’s really no reason to weed this one, but it was too awsomely obscure to not post it.