Awful Library Books

A Grave Matter…

July 22, 2009 Holly Craptastic Crafts and Hobbies 41 comments

Do-It-Yourself Coffins: For Pets and People
Power
1997

An ALB tipster put me on to this title. I was DYING to get my hands on it. With a bit of gallows-type humor (mostly puns), this book details wood carving for coffins for both humans and pets. Really. No, there is nothing WRONG with this book. It really is a good choice for a wood working collection. Given the condition of the copy I saw, this particular book has been well loved. I will not “out” the owning library because maybe they have a huge woodworking patronage (or a rather macabre clientele).

Pantyhose – not just for legs!

July 21, 2009 Holly Craptastic Crafts and Hobbies 22 comments

More Great Pantyhose Crafts
Baldwin
1985

Submitter: “We were fascinated by the full-sized hammock constructed of pantyhose and plastic six-pack rings, and thought it would make a great staff development day team-building activity to make one ourselves. Alas…..”

Holly: Once, again, here’s a really cool find! There’s not a single thing “wrong” with this book. The copy I got a hold of is in great physical shape. There are definitely people who would be interested in making crafts out of just about anything…including pantyhose. Every library and community is different.

Crafts for (the) retarded?

Crafts for Retarded: Through their hands they shall learn
McNiece
1964

Some librarian spies from the west sent along this wonderful title to ALB. I am not quite sure of the craft on the front, but the spies sent along a page featuring this ultra cool Indian tom-tom craft. A quote from the cover blurb: “This book is written primarily for teachers and for parents whose youngsters have come into the world with less potential than the so-called ‘average’ child.” Submitters say: “What better way to raise a child’s potential than by teaching him or her to stretch a goat skin to make a drum, then paint swastikas on it?”

Passion for Donkeys

July 17, 2009 Holly Critters 21 comments

A Passion for Donkeys
Svendsen
1988

From anonymous submitter:

“It’s a must-read for anyone who wants to get into the donkey-breeding business. I understand that passion is the key to life, and I like to think I’m open-minded, but anyone with a passion for donkeys probably needs psychiatric help.”

Holly’s commentary:

Too funny! I love it! There’s really no reason to weed this one, but it was too awsomely obscure to not post it.

Vans: The Personality Vehicles

July 15, 2009 Holly Can I get there from here? 28 comments

Personality Vehicles
Dexler
1977

Submitter: This is a paean to the ultimate 70’s vehicle, the van. Of course it includes lots of color photos of sweet tricked-out vans, complete with nature scenes painted on the outside and shag and velvet on the inside.

Holly:My favorite is the one with flames painted on the side. Other than the fact that this book looks a little worse for wear, it’s pretty cool. What a perfect specimen for ALB! It’s unusual, nostalgic, and an example of something that was really cool in 1977 when it was published. I leafed through this book myself and was thoroughly entertained. Anyone who loves old books will love this! It most definitely does not belong on the shelves of the small public library that submitted it, but what a great display item or book sale find.

Mary: This might be a keeper in the Detroit area! We love our automotive stuff. For the record, I doubt my mother would have let me date anyone cool enough to drive one of these awesome machines. I am sure only dangerous boys drove these vans.

I want to be a LIBRARIAN!

July 13, 2009 Holly Librarian's Choice 23 comments

I want to be a Librarian
Greene
1960

Thanks to anonymous submitter for this wonderful relic from the past! Submitter says there is lots of information about the card catalog and finding good books. (I wonder if this counts as a good book?) I quickly breezed through the world cat holdings and A LOT of public libraries are hanging on to this title. Please do the profession a favor and get something more current.

Does this make my butt look fat?

July 7, 2009 Holly Looking Good 20 comments

Clothes for Disabled People
Goldsworthy
1981

This lovely title comes to us from an anonymous ALB spy in Michigan. I would imagine that this is a great topic for a public library. Ease of dressing for people who have limited mobility and other physical issues is important. However, looking at the cover now – in 2009 – suggests that if you are in a wheelchair, you cannot be fashionable.

I think the guy in a wheelchair is saying to the woman, “Do I really have to dress like Mr. Rogers?”

It’s all about the homemaking

July 5, 2009 Holly Home and Garden 43 comments

Good Housekeeping’s Guide for Young Homemakers
William Laas, ed.
1966

The forward of this book sort of says it all: “Homemaker–no other word in the language so precisely suggests what a young married woman is expected to do.” Actually this is an interesting book and kind of household ‘how-to’ encyclopedia. There are several pages on ironing and laundry. Caring for furs is another large article.