Krystal Carrington Workout

Linda Evans Beauty & Exercise Book: Inner & Outer Beauty

Who doesn’t want to look good while they take down the evil Alexis?

This book circulated fairly recently in the public library that submitted this title.  That library has a decent budget and plenty of up-to-date titles in this subject area, so it must have been missed in the last round of weeding.  Anyway, they’ve weeded it and bequeathed it to me.  Win-win!

Let’s look at this lovely example of beauty and exercise of the rich and famous in the early 1980s:

two person exercise

(Above) Step 1: You need to don the required uniform of tights and leotard and then look deep into your partner’s eyes while stretching.  Ok, well, that’s lovely.  A staring competition increases attention span. Or something.

two person exercise

(Above) Step 2: Find yourself an exercise partner that you are VERY comfortable with. They probably should have led with that one.  Awwwwk-waaaard.

rolling pin massage

(Above) Ouch! Sitting on a rolling pin can not feel very good.  Especially when you’re also lying on the sidewalk.  She certainly looks like it’s blissful, though…

applying eye shadow

(Above) After all that, you’ll look like this. Gorgeous.  Look at that perfectly feathered hair.

Linda Evans Beauty and Exercise Book

(Back cover, above) Linda Evans was 41 years old when this book was written, just to put things into perspective. She currently looks like this (2012, age 70, image courtesy of Wikipedia):

Not bad!

Oh, hey, there are copies of Dynasty on DVD available through ILL! <Now requesting…>




  1. Is it just me or does everyone doing the excersises look like they’re sucking in their gut?

  2. Oh, my goodness! Her make-up! She looks as if she has rosacea, even in her younger days. Eeew.

  3. The rolling pin massage has come back in the present day, only now we have a dedicated piece of equipment: the foam roller. I just bought one recently, and the photo guide that came with it included all the positions shown for rolling pin massage in this book. So, either not so weird, or we are still just as weird today.

    The technique of putting pressure on tense areas in a muscle is called myofascial release. When you hit a tense spot, it hurts a lot, but afterward it feels much better.

  4. She may be Krystal Carrington to much of the world but to MST3K fans she’ll always be Greta, the prostitute with a heart of pyrite who had to sleep with Joe Don Baker in “Mitchell”

  5. Yeah, like Margaret says, I <3 foam rollers but if I don't have one handy, a rolling pin will indeed do!

  6. Let the face of that facelift disaster be a lesson to anyone considering a facelift or any kind of plastic surgery: don’t do it! You’ll look like living hell.

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