How to Kill Your Girlfriend’s Cat

How to kill your girlfriend's cat againHow to Kill Your Girlfriend’s Cat Again

Submitter: While flipping through the humor section of my local library I found this book, How to Kill your Girlfriend’s Cat Again. With jokes about animal abuse, AIDS, and poor Sharon Tate, needless to say, I did not find it funny.

Holly: My first thought was, “Well, it is categorized as humor.” Then I saw Submitter’s images (below). Dr. Mengele and Charles Manson: too far, Dr. Daphne. Too far.

Mexican cat dance

drop cat from upper story window

Dr. Mengele's boarding facility

Charles Manson technique

Start an ugly rumor

wedding bell

Kill girlfriend's cat Back cover


  1. I get it that humor can be tongue and cheek. However, this just seems unnecessarily cruel .

  2. Who would buy this for a library? This is far beyond tongue-in-cheek! The girlfriend needs a new boyfriend.

  3. How to kill the library director’s cat. Find this book in the library. “slip into a public phone booth” and call the SPCA. Any circulation statistics for this?

  4. If your boyfriend thinks torturing or slaughtering cats is funny, he should be called a boyenemy! Sadly there really are people who have no problem doing this to animals and are likely to become the next serial killer.

  5. This reminds me of “The Book of Bunny Suicides,” except that was a funny book with better art!

    1. The title made me think of “101 Uses for a Dead Cat” – but again, those cartoons were actually funny. This is just hacky and mean.

      1. I was reminded of the “Final Exit for Barney” book(s). This sort of morbid “humor” seems to have been trendy in the 90s.

  6. I’m enough of a true crime nerd that I feel compelled to point out that the Sharon Tate “joke” is actually a Jeffrey MacDonald “joke.”

    He was convicted of killing his pregnant wife and two small children (ages three and five). He attempted to copycat the Manson murders by writing “Kill the Pigs” in his wife’s blood and then told cops that he’d been attacked by hippies chanting “Acid is groovy. Kill the pigs” over and over again.

    One tip-off for the police was that even back then (in the early 70’s), no genuine drug people were saying “groovy” anymore.

    I guess it’s kind of appropriate, because in the pretend cat-murder as well the real murder, it’s a staged crime scene. But it still makes me want to barf that someone thought this was a funny thing to reference.

  7. One word: NO!!!

    As an animal lover (and especially a cat lover), this is one of those very rare exceptions where I’d be in favor of book burning. Since I don’t see the humor in it, I just see it as a very literal guide to killing a cat and it could easily be dangerous in the wrong hands.

  8. I don’t think this is funny. Is that a reason to weed it, though? No, not at all.

    That said, if it’s not circulating because most people agree with me and with other posters, it’s taking up shelf space for no reason, and that is a good reason to weed it.

  9. I had a copy of this when I was fourteen and thought it was absolutely hilarious. Rereading the scanned pages, it looks like the author was trying too hard.

  10. I’m all for very dark humor, but this seems excessive and…not funny. There’s something about it that makes me think the actual target of the ire (to put it mildly) towards girlfriends, not cats.

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