Feminine Football

football for women coverFootball For Women
and men who want to learn the game

Ladies! Are you a bit slow when it comes to understanding football? Are you embarrassed to ask a man to explain the game? Well it is time to step up and learn the game, with help from this lovely feminine styled football instruction book. Written especially for women so you can understand the intricacies of this extremely complicated game. I am sure they will use small words to make it easier for feminine minds.

The purple cover also adds a nice feminine touch. Written by a woman for women. Don’t worry, she had her manuscript reviewed by the NFL, CFL, and the NCAA according to the back cover. This is comforting since for all we know the author was too emotional to get her facts straight.


back cover of football for women


football etiquette

more etiquette


  1. The smoky, toxic haze that used to hover below the roof at the Pontiac Silverdome was indeed legendary…. the fact that the place was demolished several years ago and professional football was last played there almost 20 years ago (not to mention the gendered premise of the book) definitely makes this a good candidate for the weed pile….

  2. I can’t believe there are instructions on what to wear, how to enter and exit your seating area while the game is going on, and the like. Also, if you aren’t interested in football, why should you feel compelled to understand it because so many guys do? Is there a similar book for the men to understand soap operas (the example given in the book of what women follow instead of football 😀 ). Funny how the cover copy laments how women lose male companionship during football season. For starters, I don’t see anything wrong with a couple having different interests and spending time doing different things. For another, most women I know who are married to football fans are delighted to have an excuse to have a ‘hen party’ or outing with other “football widows.” Anyway, thanks for the laugh!

    1. “Also, if you aren’t interested in football, why should you feel compelled to understand it because so many guys do?”

      You know, because Dr. Sonya Friedman said: “It’s important for women to communicate with men in their language.” And don’t you dare to complain! Everything about watching football should be fun! If you don’t have fun and didn’t make sure food is prepped, you are obviously a shitty wife. It’s as easy as that.

      1. Ha! 🙂

        I have endured watching some soccer games on TV because I love my husband and feel it’s important to support and show appreciation for one’s partner’s interests, but I’ve never felt dragooned into becoming a fan. Likewise, I’ve never insisted he develop a passionate interest in birdwatching 🙂

    2. Yeah, the idea women don’t realize they shouldn’t wear silk assumes they’re … well, dumber than any of the women I know.
      And no, not all boys grow up playing football. I’m completely sports impaired, and I’m sure that even back then there were guys who focused on baseball or basketball.

    3. I, as a wife of a football fan, enjoy the season because I can do my own thing while my husband is watching games. A lot of the time I just read in the same room.

  3. Ye gods! In 1988 the advice was to wear a skirt with pockets??!! 1938, maybe.

    1. Yeah, no kidding! I was torn between “um, how about pants with pockets instead??” and “there exist skirts with pockets?!”

      //insert rant about the so-called “pockets” in most women’s clothing here

  4. I thought “this must be a 60’s book”. 1988! Even then, this was ridiculously sexist.

    Telling grown humans how to dress for the weather? Particularly the gender that stereotypically tells everyone to put on a sweater/take a jacket?

    And girls have played football, lady. 20 years before this came out, all us kids played (touch) football in backyards and on the playground on mixed-gender teams.

    My mother was a much bigger football fan than my dad, and understood the rules better. She never missed Monday Night Football.

    Toss this in the recycling; not only is it patronizing, but the rules have changed slightly since then.

  5. I love the intro by Mary. It reminds me of the Amazon reviews for “BIC For Her” pens. They are a hoot to read.

    1. Best not to attend games when you’re having your “monthly visitor,” gals. All the excitement may get you upset and ruin your man’s enjoyment.

  6. I agree with Christina! I find the introduction insulting, particularly the assumption that all men love football and therefore their spouses/partners should as well.

    I do know of women who love football but that’s because they decided on their own to get interested in the game and were not coerced by anyone (male or female).

    I have never loved football and, in fact, I don’t love any sports at all.

    This book should definitely be weeded and not replaced.

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