Don’t Say Yes When You Want to Say No

Don't Say Yes coverDon’t Say Yes When You Want To Say No: How Assertiveness Training Can Change Your Life
Fensterheim and Baer

Submitter: Reading this book brought back an old Saturday Night skit, Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley. Remember folks, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”

Holly: Apparently one reader was assertive about writing in the library book! Geesh!

Don't Say Yes contents

Don't Say Yes contents

Don't Say Yes contents

How to Get Thin

Problems of Sexual Variants

The Homosexual

How to Get Thin

An Assertive Guide for Homosexuals


  1. WAIT!!! Have you had “the gay life thrust upon you”????? I will be in the corner banging my head on the wall. (And leave scribbling in books to apparently weight-conscious patrons).

  2. Indeed….

    Do people really not go through and get rid of completely outdated books? Or do they do so willy-nilly? I remember, when I was younger, that my local library got rid of their entire Three Investigators kids book series, yet kept things similar to this.

    1. They got rid of Three Investigators? NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      I LOVE that series. I decided if any man is desperate enough to want to marry me instead of a big huge expensive engagement ring he has to buy me this entire series, in hard back, back when it was Alfred Hitchcock And The Three Investigators. Doesn’t have to be mint condition, but does have to be complete and in readable condition.

      I found it once on eBay but the bid was already over $3,000. No way I could buy it for myself. 🙁

    1. Weeding (should) be based on: circulation, condition, accuracy (including up-to-date info) and relevance to the library’s population.

      If any or all of these can be answered “no” when considering a book, it can go (or if it’s just condition, think about replacing it, if possible).

      Run a circulation report to catch the stuff that isn’t checking out (often this will help you catch outdated stuff too — no one wants outdated medical or technology books, for example), and have your shelvers and circ staff keep their eyes open for damaged items as they pass through their hands. (My question is: “Would I want to check this out?” I’m pretty picky, so if the answer is no, toss that nasty book.)

  3. the writer’s ignorance about gay people is appalling.
    (oh my god, somebody else who remembers the Three Investigators books with affection! I thought I was the only one!)

  4. To be fair to the author, as least he realised gay men could actually have a good, happy life, even if so much of that chapter is inaccurate. I had to giggle at the idea of having “a gay life THRUST upon you”. Only if you’re doing it right! 😀

  5. People have practiced sexual variant behavior for HUNDREDS of years???

    Yes, there are many things wrong with this book, this little detalj really touched the roots of my heart!
    How many hundreds?, I wonder.
    Did someone in the very creative Renaissance (maybe even daVinci?) suddenly wake up one day with a bright idea:
    “Hey! I don’t have to do any more of that old, boring “coitus with the opposite sex”-thing! I am utterly able to think of quite other variations!”

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