Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?

101 Best Opening Lines cover101 Best Opening Lines (Meeting People)

Thank you, submitter, for making my day.  I cracked up when I saw this!  Seriously, we can do better for our patrons in the dating pool.  It’s just so cheesy!  Did people really say these things in 1983?  (God help us…do they say them now??)  Ugh, it’s just revolting.

But funny.





Afternoon Delight


Double vision

Beneath the Arches


  1. A couple of those seem like decent conversation starters, but the rest made me feel slimy just reading them. And the “copy of your face” one is just creepy. Definitely weed (or move to the joke books section).

  2. Oog. Does it have the worst one I ever heard? “Do you have jumper cables? … Because my heart stopped when you walked by!”

  3. Now adays most people know that alcohol makes you colder on your skin surface, not warmer. Yeesh!

    And the McDonald’s one? Who, other than high schoolers, pick up their dates in any fast food place?

  4. Wow, they’re just sleazy. Who would be charmed by any of these lines? (“I hate to eat alone” – “that’s your problem buddy, not mine”) Some of them cross the border into true sexual harrassment – completely inappropriate work behavior. The rest are just inappropriate. Ick.

  5. “Probably anyone you say this line to is going to be a little confused[…]. Explain[…].”

    Yes, because all the best pick-up lines are the ones that evoke the reaction “huh?” and require an explanation.

    Also, the flea market one? Unless you’re talking to a pawn shop owner or something, I don’t think anyone’s going to be “flattered” to know that the first impression they give is of someone well-versed in buying second-hand junk.

  6. i wonder if this was intended as a joke? also i have to say when i was a single guy if i had heard any of these from an attractive woman they would have totally worked

  7. #19 is creepy as hell. Is someone going to copy your face and use it as a sex toy? Are they going to put the copy on their pillow to make out with it?

  8. “You look like a French Impressionist painting. From a distance, you looked great, but up close, I don’t even know what I’m looking at.”
    That’ll totally get you a date.

  9. I always dreamed of meeting my husband at a McD’s and have a nicer dinner date at Burger King. NOT! I had to laugh hard at the one.

    Also, the drinking while skiing just sounds like a recipe for ski straight into that tree over there.

    But my favorite has to be the Walkman as the problem of the 80s. Um, little tip, if anyone is plugging an Ipod or, heaven forbid, someone actually still uses a Walkman (COUGH! My dad!) into their ears, they have no intention of making conversation with anyone.

  10. Was it common in the early 80s for skiers to hit the slopes with a flask full of alcohol? I expect hot coffee or sports drinks are more common these days.

  11. I concur that the Xerox one is the creepiest. “Hey baby, I think you’re hot; do you mind putting your head in this machine and suffering retinal damage for me? On second thought, you probably want to make three or four copies. That way when the first one gets stained, I have backups.”

  12. Lauren F…
    Yes, it was quite common. Flasks and wineskins were pretty much standard on a lot of ski slopes. Nowadays, with the litigation explosion, I would imagine that the proprieters discourage it pretty vehemently.

  13. I don’t think most of these are so bad. 21, 85, 86 are pretty simple ice-breakers.
    But 83? Oh yes, tell me more about my wrinkled pocket flap. Nothing could be more seductive!
    And I had a similar reaction to 19 as everyone else. It IS bizarre. Not humorously bizarre, as the author suggests, just bizarre.

  14. No lines now. None needed. People just come right out with it. The mystery is gone. Good thing.

  15. I liked getting pick up lines like these in the late 80s/early 90s when I was in school. It made it so much easier to stare blankly at the guy and walk away without comment.

  16. “Next you can talk about how much you both hate xeroxing.”
    Ummm…I can’t say I’ve ever hated xeroxing. Not in an “OMG I HATE THIS!!!” sort of way. I’ve definitely felt ambivalent towards xeroxing in the past, but for the most part my feelings toward xeroxing have been pretty neutral.

    And, yeah, everybody I know loves to discuss foot problems. Corns, bunions, ingrowing toenails- there are endless possibilities here.

  17. Where do I start? With Eve, that little hottie on the cover? How some 21C creep will just sneak a photo with his smart phone? #83 and variations are definitely Virgo pickup lines.

  18. @Didi – THANK YOU! At least YOU get it. I hate it when people try to talk to me when I make it obvious I’m listening to my iPod. And really, it’s no one’s business who I’m listening to. (And no, it’s not always Barry Manilow. Sometimes it’s The Bee Gees, Sammy Davis Jr, or even Jerry Lee Lewis.) And frankly, with the way I get treated if someone mouthed “hey beautiful” to me I’d assume they were actually making fun of me and ignore them.

    Admittedly, I’d like someone to try a pick up line on me just because no one has. Well, there was that one time in FedCo when some guy started talking to me about how he can never find any good VHS instruction tapes on golf, but I was 16 and really didn’t feel like talking to a man who looked close to 40. I might be into older men but I also knew what wasn’t legal!

  19. Oof. Am I the only one who saw “you look like a French Impressionist painting” and immediately thought of the movie Clueless?

    “She’s a full-on Monet. From far away it’s okay, but up close it’s a big old mess.”

  20. Sometimes I put my headphones in without listening to anything, just to go unbothered.

    I suspect that this book may be too hilarious to throw away, but it is definitely time too dated to keep.

  21. I’m a single woman who, at the risk of sounding like a show-off, is pretty good-looking. If a guy said any of these to me, I would wrinkle my nose and ignore them. I might say ‘mmm’ if I thought it would make them go away quicker. Whereas if a guy introduced himself, or make an innocuous comment about the weather, or something nearby, I would respond with a polite answer, which could easily turn into a conversation.

  22. Ah, I just LOVE these types of books! As has already been mentioned, they are outdated almost from the moment they’re published but DO provide hours of (unintentionally hilarious) entertainment later on.

    My favorite pick-up line (alas, not in this book): “I KNOW you must be tired ‘cuz you’ve been running through my mind!”

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