Crap for Christmas

Farm Journal Christmas Book - coverFarm Journal Christmas Book

Submitter: This book was checked out in 1974 and not returned to us until this week. I guess someone thinks we might want to add it back to our collection, but I think we’ll skip it. Between the scary jello-based food, the horrid-looking craft projects, and some of the politically incorrect gifts to make, it was hard to decide what to include.  So here’s jewels-in-a-ring with a “new” type of cream cheese frosting, some unidentifiable papier-mache products, and an apron for the woman of the house (a.k.a. the vice-president). Looks like a lot of libraries still own this…

Holly: Nothing says the birth of Jesus like jello salad and papier-mache! Really, though, you can update your Christmas crafts books to this millennium.

Farm Journal Christmas Book - examples

Surprise aprons

Jewels-in-a-Ring with cream cheese frosting


  1. Aha, the original fanny pack! “It’s an apron; it’s a tote bag; it’s two, two, two things in one!”

    Jewels in a Ring looks like the set from one of those Rankin-Bass Christmas specials … I expect the Bumble to peek around the side of the jello “mountain.”

  2. Well, the author is right that the “jewels in a ring” Jell-o mold is definitely “special to look at.” I am so glad I didn’t visit this page during my lunch break. Blech.

  3. I’m hanging my head in shame. My mother had 3, count them 3! things from the middle picture. She had one of the big pillars with a large candle on it in the entryway to our house growing up, along with a Mary and Angel almost exactly like the ones in the picture.

  4. I remember fruit in Jello from the early 1980s. But I have never seen it with any type of frosting. Thankfully I am now a vegetarian and will never be consuming another gelatin-containing salad again. (Even if I was not a vegetarian, that picture would’ve put me off…)

  5. If the aprons were full coverage and not just half ones I’d want one. I do a lot of baking and could use an apron of my own, but I can’t find one I really like.

  6. My mom totally has one of those sphere-on-a-cone angels in her cache of Christmas decorations. Memories! Luckily I was spared any kind of jello form, though. That thing is terrifying.

  7. Ok…as a child of the Seventies, I KNOW the texture of that uglydang yellow candle…a really creepy, peculiar textured hard wax…or shellac? The only thing those “fancy candles” were good for was hanging onto unlimited amounts of fuzz and dust as they slowly gravitated towards the back of toilets, then the back of bathroom cabinets, then to the dreaded back of the closet from whence nothing returns…

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