Contingency Cannibalism: Superhardcore Survivalism’s Dirty Little Secret
Takada
1999
Submitter: This was found in the survival and wilderness section of our little library. At first I was surprised by the title, then I was even more surprised when I realized it was misclassified. This probably would have done better in the humor section.
Holly: What the….ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Good grief. The summary at WorldCat is priceless.
Blindsided: Planet X passes in 2033: Earthchanges!
Hazlewood
(2nd Ed.) 2001
Submitter: This amazing conspiracy rant explains how the media, all the governments (except Putin’s Russia) and society in general suppress the truth that Planet X is coming to destroy civilization in 2003. (Oh wait…). Cited sources include news articles and prophecies by, amongst others, Mother Shipton, Edgar Cayce and various conspiracy theorists. Buy this book so you can survive what was coming in 2003! Small public library in Florida, found shelved in 550 with Space Science.
Holly: We dodged that bullet, I guess.
If I’m God’s Handiwork, Would Someone Please Explain These Thighs!: Discovering Your Unique Destiny
Lechner
2002
Submitter: I work at a public library in a small city in NC. We found this book from 2002 during a recent sweep. I think it’s a good example for your blog because of the outdated humor both in the title and within the work, as well as the outdated design of the cover and call outs within. The book never had particularly good circulation numbers and probably should have been weeded a decade ago.
Holly: I know it doesn’t seem like that long ago, but 2002 was 21 years ago. Let it gooooo!
Hunger: Understanding the Crisis Through Games, Dramas, and Songs
Sprinkle
1971
Submitter: This is a book of literal Hunger Games by an author whose last name is Sprinkle. You just can’t make this up. The idea of the book is to help church-goers and likeminded folks better understand the experience of hungry people. There are bingo games for kids, as well as the attached activities. I find the drama interesting; Jane, the “active churchwoman” actually tells the long-haired young man to cut his hair to find a job. Spoiler, she dies at the end, goes to heaven, and gets a bread crust, an empty jar, and an old bathrobe. There’s also a song called “We plough the fields with tractors.”
Weeded from an academic library. Last circulation: ILL in 1987. Browsed in 1993. Not applicable to any academic program at the university… and probably not of lasting interest for students, faculty, or staff, either.
Holly: What does listing on a placemat what Jesus ate (second image below) have to do with learning about people who have nothing to eat?
Early Pleasures and Pastimes
Kalman
1947
Submitter: We found this gem in our Children’s department of our public library, on a recent much needed weed. The children on the cover seem to enjoy waterboarding Grandpa. The actual photos inside are very disturbing. They dare you to wrestle a bear, and how about the crying little girl watching her beloved turkey get it’s head chopped off. I don’t understand why we had this one on the shelves for so long!
Holly: None of these are pleasures or appropriate pastimes for children! Pretty sure Grandpa is bobbing for apples. He doesn’t seem to be very good at it, though.
The Taming
Deveraux
1989
Submitter: If your idea of a romantic hero is a dude with anger management issues, zero people skills, and a bad case of lice, then here is the book for you! This is the tale of a lady who marries an impoverished misogynist and scrubs his entire castle. Despite the fact that he does not maintain his estate, she is somehow able to produce elaborate multi-course feasts. There’s a ghost, too, so maybe any kind of realism was too much to expect.
Also, we’re an academic library. Every book its reader notwithstanding, how in the name of S.R. Ranganathan did this get into our collection?
[Images, below:] 1 cheesy book cover with bad font (for a good 10 minutes, I thought the title was The Famine); 1 page of lice; 1 page of the most disgusting living-dining room situation in print; and 1 page of a downright miraculous meal.
Holly: Oh, Jude. Jude Deveraux was super popular back in the day. The cover DOES look like The Famine!
Sneak it Through : Smuggling Made Easier
Michael Connor
1984
Paladin Press
Submitter: This book was found on shelf by one of our library clerks and brought to my attention. A surprising purchase, and my only guess is a collection development librarian had watched too many episodes of Magnum, P.I., Remington Steele, and or the A-team. However, its value to a public library seems limited even with the published date of 1984. For those like us in the northern climates, will enjoy the snow on the car roof trick.
Holly: Because, as the back cover says, “You never know what you might want to smuggle when times get tough!”
Christmas Tree Crafts
Tichenor
1975
I was a year old when this book was published. That makes it 47 years old this year. I’m all for holiday craft books for kids, but this one is old and tired. There are giant chunks of pages falling out. Some kid, probably 47 years ago, colored on many of the templates in this copy. That kid probably has these hand-made ornaments on her tree to this very day, and her grandkids think they’re sooo old and weird, but dang it, she loves them. Especially the Christmas frog (see below).
Happy Holidays, everyone!
Holly
