ALB Best of the Worst 2014: Helpful Advice

Continuing part 2 of our 3 part series of the Best of the Worst 2014, we are addressing the world of advice.

Ladies, without ALB this year you wouldn’t know how to use your secret lady powers, survive a hostage situation or even dress yourself! And if that doesn’t work, pretend to be helpless so men can feel good about themselves.

For those of you considering a career change, check out some alternate careers in pierogis?

Finally, when none of this works, get out a plate of delicious cookies and head straight to Hell.

Tomorrow is our final list of awful.

The Devil Makes You Fat

Help Lord the Devil Wants Me Fat

Your Power as a Woman



  1. Is this Pirelli book a joke? Like a silly example of an “Everyjob” instead of calling their fake job “Tiddlewink Worker,” they chose this? I mean, I love prodigies, but is this real? Doesn’t even work as a joke, but is it real?

    1. Of course, a real pierogi maker IS a prodigy–and won’t need a book. Or, they can go work for “Mrs. T’s Pierogis.”

  2. I think the pierogi book is one of those career books that feature a specific job, but they really are just filled with generic job hunting tips. Why anyone would want tips on becoming a pierogi maker is beyond me (and why any library would actually purchase said book is baffling).

    1. I hear Amazon is becoming flooded with books like that, constructed using a MadLibs-type process. Searching Google Books “how to land a top paying” turns up a bunch more, some even with the same generic cover and a generic summary.

  3. Well, I’ll say this for the “How You Look and Dress” entry – the fashions may be outdated but that shopping advice is pretty sound, especially the Shopping With Kindness bit.

  4. I can’t believe Bachelor Pad Economics didn’t make it onto this part of the list 🙁 I mean, I realize it’s so hate-filled that it should be left to burn in the bowels of hell where it belongs, but that book is a special, incomparable kind of awful. Not just in content but in how it’s written too.

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