Wearable Wood

Calculator Tricks From the Old Days
Mocha Dick

wood shape necklaces

Easy Wearable Projects for Wood Shapes
Seelig
1986

I should probably admit some bias here. Decorated sweatshirts are only for kindergarten teachers and children’s librarians. Think of it as a uniform. No one should be out clubbing in these monstrosities of fashion. They are only cute to people under the age of 7. That said, don’t make worse by attaching wooden baubles to the fabric and call it fashion. I have seen more than one pitiful woman in one of these get ups at adult parties or bars. I don’t mean an after-work-grab-a-drink get-together, but actual parties where you are supposed put some thought into an outfit. I have a sneaking suspicion that these people are overly cheerful in the morning.

Mary

wood jewelry back cover

summer landscape sweatshirts

girlfriend necklace Christmas wood trinkets

14 comments

  1. Oh, the mid-80s hair, I remember it well! These remind me of the kind of things I would see for sale in the basement of our local craft store when I was a kid. I have a question: how do you wash these?

  2. Last night I learned about the “sweater curse”, where if someone knits a sweater for their love interest, the relationship will end. This is likely one of the logical, non-supernatural reasons that the “curse” exists. Imagine having to wear an embarrassing, uncomfortable piece of clothing because the knitter thinks you don’t love them if you don’t.

  3. Even the title’s a miss. Easy Wearable Projects Using Wood Shapes, sure, but as written it sounds like we’re knitting sweaters for wooden shapes to wear when they get cold.

  4. I can see having a lot of fun on a rainy day afternoon arranging some wooden pieces into pictures. But I don’t see the point of putting them on a sweatshirt instead of making them into wall art. Who would have worn that?

  5. I am sorry to say I owned some of this “wearable wood.” (My mom was a big shopper of craft fairs.) I distinctly remember an Easter rabbit necklace, and I’m pretty sure either me or her had a Christmas sweater with glued-on wood shapes as well.

  6. Fantastic winning ideas for anyone entering the office ugly Christmas sweater contest….thats the only way any of these looks could ever be successful.

  7. You have maligned children’s librarians! I own not a single seasonal sweatshirt, turtleneck or wood-shape-adorned garment. Just don’t look in my sock drawer. Holiday socks are cool. Really.

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