That’s Hot!

Yikes! Mom got a job?
Glorious Macrame

Paris Hilton coverParis Hilton
Torres
2006

This one is almost a joke without me having to make a comment.  I actually read this cover to cover and I felt sorry for the author.  I got the feeling she was really having to reach for material and make it age appropriate- a nearly impossible task.   Of course I want to know the back story of why Paris and Nicole Ritchie are no longer BFFs.  Who also wouldn’t want to read account of making homemade porn with a boyfriend, or a stint in jail?  Sadly, these are all missing from this biography.  Actually,  aside from the idea of someone being famous for being famous, I hesitate to invest in biographies like this since they go out of date almost as soon as they are published.  Anyway, please enjoy a sample of the riveting 32 pages of the life of Paris Hilton all sanitized appropriately  for your average 8 year old.

Mary


Paris Hilton back cover

Model Behavior

Paris Hilton Chronology

30 comments

  1. LOL at the author trying desperately to make Paris sound like a much bigger success than she ever actually was. “Movie offers began coming in”… yeah, for blockbusters like “The Hottie and the Nottie”. I’m so impressed. “She was becoming a fashion icon”, what? You pretty much only see her on “Worst dressed” lists and GoFugYourself. “Her equally beautiful sister” oh COME ON. Nobody has ever called Nicky Hilton beautiful, ever.

    Generally I try not to take these “celebrity” bios seriously, but ugh, this “Paris Hilton is a SUPERSTAR!” stuff is just ridiculous. Girl was famous for a sex tape and a cheesy reality show and that’s it. I feel sorry for whoever had to write this, it must have been a struggle.

  2. We have some of this series, but not this particular one. I don’t know, though, if any of the others need weeding like this one, or not. I’m not sure if either of the J Michael Jackson books are with this one, but either way, they need a newer kids’ one.

  3. “Paris Hilton is rich. She claims to love animals, which is why she has been repeatedly cited for failing to care for them properly. She likes to drive her car after drinking, and she enjoys using cocaine and marijuana. Money will buy you anything in this society, including a Humane Society award and this book. THE END.”

  4. Paris Hilton playing Anne Frank ? Holy Kate, this is very disturbing.

    I hope the author has been paid a huge amount of pesetas for going through the ordeal of writing this. It’s typically the kind of job you take only for the money (and sign with a pseudonym – who knows which winner of the Booker Prize is hiding himself under the alias of Jennifer Torres ?).

    Reading this book will certainly make you a Communist : after learning more about the easy life of this white trash, you will beg for a purge of the bourgeoisie and you’ll envision yourself as the future People’s Commisar for International Hotels.

  5. I’m sure some parent out there taped the school play with Paris as Anne Frank. I would pay money to see it.

  6. Holy crap, the author successfully made it sound like the brain dead life of a Barbie doll! This is like the anti-inspiration book. According to the back of the book, even if you’re born into the lap of over-the-top luxury, you can still “make it”. Who knew such a thing was possible?

  7. i so, so, so want to see her play ann frank. that’s like someone like sarah palin playing ann frank…just an ulltra-goyische playing a jew; gotta love it!

  8. Actually, if you read between the lines, I think you’ll find the author is a genius at sarcasm. She’s making fun of Paris, and all she has to write is the honest truth.

  9. Paris Hilton is to Anne Frank what the burning pile of tyres in Springfield in ‘The Simpsons’ are to Paris, France.

    One envies the privileged few who saw that particular school production…

  10. Steve: Jenna Jameson and Ron Jeremy for kids! Great idea. Seriously, though, I can see someone writing the Kim ‘n’ Khloe Kardashian book for kids today. There’s probably a sanitized life of Lindsay Lohan on some library shelf, with her looking cute as a button, just waiting to be weeded.

  11. “Paris discovered that you can make your own destiny with a little hard work and a whole lot of dazzle!”

    Oh. That’s what that was.

  12. As an aspiring librarian, this books is the antipithis of every reason why I want to work in a library! Ow! If you ignore the mindless blather (a feat in and of itself) and the fact that she spends so much on a single dress, and the fact that she has no redeming social vlaues, this books would still be worthy of weeding the first change I got.

  13. Paris Hilton isn’t famous for being damous, she’s famous for being a rich whore. That is hard to work into a children’s book.

Comments are closed.