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parenting

Train Up Your Child

To Train Up a ChildTo Train Up a Child
Pearl
1994

Submitter: I actually remember my mother having this book at some point (I don’t think she ascribed to it). Two children have died as a result of the author’s child care advice and one other was in critical condition.  At some point some books aren’t even funny to joke about and just need to be removed because they endanger society. This is why I weed – to get stuff like this that might hurt others off the self.

Here is what Amazon Reviewer R. Craig “Mother” said and I couldn’t have built a case better myself. Currently World Cat has 56 libraries still holding this material.

Here are some details:

1) The Pearls recommend whipping infants only a few months old on their bare skin. They describe whipping their own 4 month old daughter (p.9). They recommend whipping the bare skin of “every child” (p.2) for “Christians and non-Christians” (p.5) and for “every transgression” (p.1). Parents who don’t whip their babies into complete submission are portrayed as indifferent, lazy, careless and neglectful (p.19) and are “creating a Nazi” (p.45).

2) On p.60 they recommend whipping babies who cannot sleep and are crying, and to never allow them “to get up.” On p.61 they recommend whipping a 12 month old girl for crying. On p.79 they recommend whipping a 7 month old for screaming.

3) On p.65 co-author Debi Pearl whips the bare leg of a 15 month old she is babysitting, 10 separate times, for not playing with something she tells him to play with. On p.56 Debi Pearl hits a 2 year old so hard “a karate chop like wheeze came from somewhere deep inside.”

4) On p.44 they say not to let the child’s crying while being hit to “cause you to lighten up on the intensity or duration of the spanking.” On p.59 they recommend whipping a 3 year old until he is “totally broken.”

5) On p.55 the Pearls say a mother should hit her child if he cries for her.

6) On p.46 the Pearls say that if a child does obey before being whipped, whip them anyway. And “if you have to sit on him to spank him, then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher.” “Defeat him totally.” On p.80 they recommend giving a child having a tantrum “a swift *forceful* spanking.” On the same page they say to whip small children on their bare skin until they stop screaming. “Don’t be bullied. Give him more of the same.” They say to continue whipping until their crying turns into a “wounded, submissive whimper.”

7) On p.47 they recommend their various whips, including “a belt or larger tree branch” to hit children.

8 ) The Pearls recommend pulling a nursing infant’s hair (p.7), and describe tripping their non-swimming toddler so she falls into deep water (p.67). They recommend ignoring an infant’s bumped head when he falls to the floor, and ignoring skinned knees (p.86). They also say “if your child is roughed-up by peers, rejoice.” (p.81) And on p.103 the Pearls say if children lose their shoes, “let them go without until they (the children) can make the money to buy more.”

9) The Pearls claim their “training” methods are Godly, yet they have *no religious training or credentials* They never mention Jesus’ injunctions to forgive “seventy times seven” and be merciful, and they decry the “extraordinary ingnorance of modern psychology.”

The Pearls’ methods have resulted in parents being investigated by Child Protective Services, children being taken away from parents, a restraining order against a father, and even a babysitter going to jail on felony charges!

Holly: Good grief!  Has anyone else heard anything about this book?  Just when you thought you’d seen it all…

A Parent Management System

Who's in Charge?Who’s in Charge?
A Positive Parenting Approach To Disciplining Children
Peters
1990

You know I love the parenting books. (They are so optimistic!)  This is such a cool cover.  Note the mother’s calm demeanor.  What you can’t see is the cocktail and the gun.  This book is full of helpful charts and graphs.  (I have often whipped out a Power Point detailing my “issues” when my teens need some serious parenting–Totally works!)  The whole thing reminds me of a horrible performance evaluation form.  Maybe the parent will issue a TPS report after filling out the chart.

FYI friends, I graduated my last child on May 27 and have now taken up the moniker of “parent emeritus.”

Enjoy!

Mary

Continue reading

Loving your teenager

How to really love your teenagerHow to Really Love Your Teenager
Campbell
1982

Thanks to anonymous submitter for this title.  This title creeped me out when I first read it.  Emphasis on “really” made me do a double take.  Maybe I watch too much television and assume the worst.

Okay, so the cover is dated, but the message isn’t too bad.  Be honest, if they had stuck a goth-looking kid sneering at his parents instead of  a “Leave it to Beaver” kid on the front, I might think that this book had something to say.  This kid looks like the only rebelling he has done is to say he wanted to go to the Saturday Mass instead of get up early on Sunday morning.

Geared to parents, this book talks about trouble in the home and the effects on teens.  Decent message but dated in the examples.  Not truly “awful,” but so much better stuff is available.  Again, parenting teens is a topic that I consider “unattainable knowledge.” You can read all the books you want , but at the end of the day, if your kid is still alive, you did a good job.

Reader Advisory BONUS:

One of my particular favorites in our parenting collection is the following title:

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall:  A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager
by Anthony Wolf.

Every parent I have ever handed this book has always laughed and immediately felt better.

Looking forward to empty-nest syndrome,

Mary