Awful Library Books

Hoarding is not collection development

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Bad Hair Day

How to Cut, Curl, and Care for Your Hair

Submitter: One of our student workers [in a university library] found this gem while shelf reading and brought it to us to enjoy. It’s horribly out of date and it looks like it was only checked out once (in 1986). The illustrator is fond of only filling in features for half of the face, which is a little creepy looking, and the illustrations don’t really tell the reader what the style is supposed to look like. They frequently suggest using “magic tape” to determine where to cut, and if you don’t have the magic tape they recommend masking tape or something similar. This sounds like a recipe for disaster. I think our students could probably find some decent YouTube videos to help them cut or style their hair.

Holly: Ooooh, I love hair books from the 80s! And I have to say, I never considered masking tape for cutting my own bangs, but that’s kind of genius. (In a painful-when-you-peel-it-off kind of way…maybe that’s what is magical about the magic tape? It doesn’t pull your remaining hair out by the roots when you pull it off?) This is a weeding double-whammy with its spiral binding.

More Hair Care:

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

A Hair Raising Book

Superstar Hair

Sexy Hair

You Can Have GORGEOUS Hair!

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Jackson Five

On Stage, Jackson Five

Submitter: I found this relic in the teen section of my local library. There were 1976 bios on each of the 5 Jacksons within this book. As we know, a lot has since changed with the Jacksons, so it’s time for an updated bio.

Holly: Oh, but teens will be looking for this! (Nope.) The Jackson Five are still popular with the teen crowd! (Nope.) The book is still in good condition! (Nope.) I’ll agree to an updated bio – for the Adult section.

More Aging (and Deceased) Pop Stars:

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Tie a Yellow Ribbon

Saturday Night Fever

King of Pop

America’s Band

Papa Don’t Preach

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Dollars from Dandelions

Dollars From Dandelions: 101 Ways to Earn Money

Submitter: This book was found at my local public library. It was a great purchase back in 1979, but 36 years later it’s time to let that one go. Nowhere is there the mention of the internet and internet business. Plus the cost and money information is way off.

Holly: According to this book, Santa only made $3 per fifteen minute visit in 1979. He gets kicked, peed on, cried on, begged for gifts, his beard gets pulled, and he’s required to be jolly 100% of the time. That’s worth waaaaay more than $3 per 15 minute visit. There are some good ideas here, but it’s not clear to me if these are meant to be after school/summer jobs for teens or a way for adults to make some extra cash. The information on each job is way out of date, so even if you found one you thought might be promising (as the check-mark-maker for “window washer” did in the table of contents below), you’d be disappointed in the advice the book gave. Or you’d settle for waaaaay less than you deserve.

More Odd Jobs:

Ye Olde Career Guide

Butcher, Baker, Cabinetmaker

Jobs for Deviants

Pierogi Payout

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