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No Sex Please!

50 Ways and 50 Reasons You Can Abstain From Sex: & Why AIDS Will Make You 100% Glad You Did, Kid!
Marsh
1992

Submitter: This gem was published in 1992 and has a grand total of 13 circs since then.  There are very high quality publishing standards including only printing on one side of the page, obviously so you can take notes on the backsides of each sheet ,and awesome clip art icons.

Holly: Wait a minute, what’s this “Smart Sex Stuff Order Form” at the bottom of the Table of Contents? Also, it looks like the title is written on a sticky-note on the cover. High quality publishing, indeed!

0 Responses to No Sex Please!

  • I would love to know what smart sex stuff is…

  • Wow. That’s indescribably lame even by 1992 standards.

  • OMG, this is too funny. As someone who delights in anything ridiculous, I find this particular literary submission excessively delightful.

  • Love the chair image next to the “table” of contents! ……….is that an ice cream cone above the book title on the cover??!!?!

  • So many things wrong with this that I don’t even know where to begin.

    They say you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover… but maybe in this case we can make an exception.

  • Aw, man! I wanted to see some of the ways to abstain that they suggest. With as high quality publishing as this book is, I’m sure their suggestions are absolute gems of wisdom…

  • Even worse, the images on the cover are rubber stamped. I’m sure none of the stamp companies gave permission for the images to be used. Add copyright infringement to the list of transgressions.

  • Awwww, someone back in 1991 just discovered their Windows 3.1 word processor and wanted to try out the Wingdings font! Couldn’t they find a way to shrink that title down a bit?

  • … “You have an entire lifetime of sexuality ahead of you that you don’t want to screw up! AIDS would screw it up because you’d die and you can’t have sex when you’re dead.” … wow. just…. wow.

  • I spent longer than I probably should have trying to figure out the significance of the images on the cover and the clip-art in the table of contents. Is the tornado one of the reasons not to have sex?

    Looks like somebody had a little too much fun designing that book.

  • She still writes and self-publishes it:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carole_Marsh

    “Author of thousands of children’s books.”

    But see http://www.amazon.com/review/R1293XJQMMKFKU

    And she remixed this particular title it into two dozen books:

    http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=carole+marsh+smart+sex+stuff&x=0&y=0

  • A few years back I weeded everything in our library authored by Carole Marsh. As another reader pointed out, she’s churned out thousands upon thousands of children’s titles by tirelessly repackaging a handful of extremely bad books. Their content ranges from the fallacious to the dangerously inaccurate and their production is uniformly inept. Good for a giggle, terrible for a library.

  • could we pleeeeeeeze see more of the insides of this tract???!?!

  • My library has some items of similar publishing quality: generally when a patron/community member publishes something. We think of it more as community relations…

  • After looking at the Google Books pages, I have to say…the content here is nowhere near as bad as the presentation. It suggests mutual masturbation as one of the ways to stay abstinent–I bet there aren’t many abstinence books being published (or “published”) today that make that suggestion. (The content has its own problems, including unsourced statements of dubious veracity, such as the claim that pregnant nine-year-olds are a rapidly growing demographic.) The book is definitely a weeder, because it’s not the library’s job to house somebody’s self-published train wreck, but the author does actually have some sensible things to say. She really ought to work on improving her writing skills so she can be really published, instead of churning out these things.

  • Reagrding the quote S mentioned: Who says you can’t have sex when you’re dead?

  • Regarding the quote S mentioned: Who says you can’t have sex when you’re dead?

  • That wikipedia article on Carole Marsh looks like it was written by herself or someone from her family. Talk about self-promotion. I find it creepy that the book title indirectly implies that she’s glad AIDS existed. That alone would see this book getting rejected by most mainstream publishers.

  • I’m so torn – on the one hand, one of my favorite book series (Shadowmancer) started out self-published. But on the other – this book is REALLY crappy!

  • I’d have thought the toe-sucking baby beneath the author’s name represented the most pertinent argument for abstinence, although the prospect of an anthropomorphic beer stein hurling pizza slices might also give one pause.

    I’m intrigued by the stick-on title – it rather hints it might be obliterating a previous title, perhaps something more catchy and in-your-face, maybe “IF YOU KIDS HAVE SEX YOU’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!”

  • I can’t stand Carole Marsh books. She hit the history scene when standardized testing started to rise 10 years ago and in short order published book after book that pandered to teachers trying to teach state history. Lots of A-Z formats, word finds… shallow stuff I couldn’t imagine reading with a class. THIS book about sex just baffles me… there’s so much wrong with how it looks and feels it seems like a joke. Who would buy this? I just don’t see the audience.

  • And furthermore… I wonder if the cover could have been handmade by a librarian to hide a more sexy kind of image. Just the thing to keep a book on the shelf without encourage people to pick it up.

  • I just love the homemade contents page. As a kid of the 90s I can tell the clip art came right out of a program called “Kid Pix”. OOPS OH NO!

  • What’s with the random pictures on the cover? Why is there a jukebox?