Massage Madness

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coverThe Massage Book

Submitter: I have a truly horrifying submission for your perusal. I work at the downtown branch of a large library system up in Canada, and I was going over a cart of books that had fallen out of circulation. To my chagrin, this was in our collection, and is one of those great books printed in brown ink as only the 1970s could do. You learn how to create your own oils, make your own massage table and various techniques for massage. With illustrations that become a little graphic, it’s quite a book. I see why it languished on the shelves!

Holly: Mary has a clown phobia and I have a massage phobia. I am totally grossed out even thinking about some stranger sliding their hands over my skin. Ewwww. I get that libraries should have books like this, though. It was a completely reasonable choice for 1972. It should’ve been weeded by about 1980 at the latest.

back cover

Why massage

oils and powders

what to tell your friend


Stroke 6



    1. It’s possible to alternate or even (although difficult) to do both at the same time. Maybe they’re telling you to pick one and stick with it.

  1. I’ve never heard of a massage phobia before. I live alone so there’s no one around to give me a back or foot rub. I have one of those machines that gives shoulder and back massages, but it’s a hard cold contraption that feels more like it’s trying to tenderize steak.

    1. Funny thing Lora, but it does exist. My brother is a physical therapist and he is very “touchy”, however, he doesn’t like people to touch him. Go figure. Even though I am a massage therapist, people I work with and myself almost never get massages. Maybe it reminds us of going to work?

  2. As a licensed massage therapist, this book does not have a lot resemblance to what I do. I can’t say I massage people that are not fully “draped”
    and I don’t think I have ever massaged any eyes or armpits in my 15 years. All in all it is a very clinical experience, that if there is muscle soreness or circulation issues, can be beneficial. There are better books than this one out there. This one screams “HIPPIES!”…said in a Cartman voice.

  3. The nonsense about vegetable oil adding vitamins to the skin and the “pain in the foot = a health problem somewhere else” all screams nonsense to me. I bet a licensed massage therapist would find this book more humorous than useful.

    I’d love a neck/shoulder and foot massage right about now, though.

  4. Am I the only one here who remembers this book… used this book… still has a copy of this book?

    1. Remember it, and used it, but never had a copy. I did make some really nice almond/ginger massage oil, though!

  5. p99: as with many founders of communism, karl marx prefers light pressure on the shoulder blades

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