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Jog your way out of Hell

Jogging With Jesus
Lovett
1978

Remember how Satan wants you to be fat? Now we have Jesus wanting you to lace up those trainers and join him jogging. Remember, Satan is sitting on the Hellmouth with cookies, liquor and all sorts other temptations to make you unhealthy. Satan also loathes exercise and is hell bent on keeping you a couch potato. (TV is part of this devil bargain as well.) Generally, the exercise is mild and the tips are probably okay, but he advises against any medical check because its just “gentle” exercise. No big deal. So put down the remote and those cookies. Jog with Jesus and start running AWAY from Satan. Stylish track suit optional.

 

Mary

 

More helpful tips on Satan:

Satan for Kids  and Satan for Kids part 2 (You need to see this book to believe it. It is real.)

Science or Religion

Ozzy made me do it!

The Devil Made Me Do It


16 Responses to Jog your way out of Hell

  • Satan and I are eating a donut as I read this….

  • So is it ok if an atheist jogs?

  • Religion aside, all libraries need to update their fitness collections. New types and styles of equipment, new guidelines, as well as electronic devices and apps have made books like this one completely obsolete.

    • The pose of the guy in the cover! Haha! Maybe he was thinking on the lines of “I’m sexy and i know it” but with the legs crossed like that, it look more as if he has to “hold it” until he finds a washroom.

  • If Jesus wants me to jog he should asked his dad to either give me smaller boobs or enough money for a reduction.

    Granted, both gluttony and sloth are two of the Big Seven, but I get sick and tired of people trying to say what God and/or Jesus wants when it comes to my own body. And this is from someone who believes in God, mind you. If God wants me to be a certain way He/She has to tell me Him/Herself. Not through some lame and out of date book.

    • I feel your pain, Jami – quite literally! My boobs and I (yes, they might as well be a separate entity) do jog, but only with carefully chosen undies. I’m actually fairly upset that Nike has discontinued the one sports bra I really liked – if Jesus wants me to keep jogging after my current stash wears out, he’s going to have to have someone come up with a good comfortable replacement.

  • Yeesh, is this guy obsessed or what? I have a feeling there was much body shaming as well as religious shaming going on in the Lovett household 🙁

  • What a great Church Lady routine this could have been!

  • Another excellent reason to be an atheist – we have cookies – and no grief about them. 🙂

  • I so wanted one of the bullet points on p. 11 to be “increase your sex drive”.

    Also, I’m confused: “Some wives will jog in front of the TV”. That just seems cruel – surely wives would prefer to run around outside like everyone else? And isn’t the TV a tool of Satan?

  • Come to the dark side…we have donuts! 🙂

  • So it’s cookies and liquor vs jogging? Sign me up for hell!!

  • Seeing the man in the track suit must have jogged my memory. My grandparents had some books by this dude. Crazy nostalgia!

  • Oh sure, jogging with Jesus is all fun and games until he jogs over the lake and you just sink to the bottom.