Submitter: I submit to you this truly awful library book I found in our small public library here in New Hampshire. As we were shifting the books on our non-fiction shelves, I noticed this thing stuck out like a sore thumb — or a bad haircut. It was sideways-oversized paperback, with a ring binding. Based on the Farrah-esque feathery cuts on cover, this book screamed 70s.
Open this informative guide to hair cutting and you find it is printed on what can only be described as off-white construction paper. The hilarious table of contents begins with the existential in Chapter 1: “What is Hair?” (If you don’t know what hair is, methinks you’ve got bigger problems than this book can solve.) And Chapter 2 poses a deep philosophical question: “What Should Hair Do?” (As Napoleon Dynamite would say: “Whatever it wants, GOSH!”) I’m actually sorry I tossed this without reading these chapters, because now I’m pretty curious about the answers!
But it’s in the depictions of the various hair cutting techniques that the real gold in this book lies. The illustrations are “credited” to a Jack Bozzi. We can only hope for his sake that this is not his real name. On page 28, the would-be hairstylist is introduced to the concept of the “Electrified Image,” i.e., imagine the hair standing straight out and it is supposedly easier to cut. Bozzi’s depiction of this concept looks like something out of Star Trek or Hellraiser, depending on the angle. On page 60, he depicts a young woman cutting her own hair the way I can only assume all women do — topless!
I had to resist the impulse to save this book from weeding for its kitsch value alone. Because of the poor paper quality, I put it in in the recycling bin!
Holly: This book was actually posted three years ago. I am sorry to report that it still exists in library land, for all the reasons Submitter has listed.