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Gayness Explained

Alfie's home cover

Alfie’s Home

Since little kids are constantly wondering about being gay, finally there is a picture book that explains everything. I am sure gay people everywhere will be so relieved to find out why they are gay.

In this lovely story we have a boy named Alfie. His parents are fighting and his dad is always working. He also had a creepy uncle Pete come over and sexually abuse him. Naturally, Alfie wondered if he was gay. Fortunately, a school counselor said NO! and got Mom and Dad some marriage counseling. Creepy uncle Pete also got some undefined help. Now Alfie isn’t gay anymore! He has grown up and now has a wife.

I will be in the back weeping for humanity if anyone needs me.



Alfie back cover

Dad is always yelling

sex abuse

confusing feelings

Your dad's lack of love






19 Responses to Gayness Explained

  • This book has revealed the cure for gayness! Just spend time with your dad. The pictures of of the creepy uncle in bed with Alfie and
    mother and father love were a little disturbing too.

  • Is this some sort of autobiography? And what is with the utterly dorky mother? This is one that goes into the shredder–and does not pass by the booksale. Yikeroo.

  • I think I just threw up in my mouth a little… Old tired panic tropes are old and tired not to mention dangerous. What really saddens me is with the number of copies available of this book listed in Worldcat, just how many kids is this book going to end up hurting?

  • At least That Guy with Glasses calls this “The Worst Children’s Book Ever,” or at least he did a few years ago. Maybe he found something worse since then!
    He shows all the pages here, with comments!


    One odd thing, the counselor told Alfie’s dad that Alfie needed his “time, touch and talk.” So, Dad can touch Alfie?

    • To be exact: It was a blogger on the tgwtg.com who called it “The worst children’s book ever” not anyone directly affiliated with the site.
      Having said that: I can’t really say that i disagree with this assessment.

    • I have to correct myself… it was a post on the site That Guy with Glasses, but he didn’t write it. He must agree though, since he included it on his site!
      Those posters of mom and dad love are freaky.

    • OMG! I thought the same thing: “great, now the kid thinks it’s OK to be molested by his father!”

  • Ahh yes, the ‘homosexual CONDITION’….as per back of book small print. Egad!!!!!!!!

  • A little history- this book was published as an “answer” to titles like “Heather has 2 mommies” because the Christian fundamentalists discovered our “balanced collection” rules and figured it also applied to propaganda.

    The author is one of those “pray the gay away” therapists who believes he used to be gay, but was able to become straight through therapy. How do you get children to accept the idea that gay people can change? By setting up a contrived situation where the kid’s sexual orientation is totally not his “fault”, of course.

    I suppose the “gay to straight” therapists also believe their voodoo works on boys who were not molested who have had crushes on rugby players or boy bands since age 8, but I guess that issue is too complex for a picture book. And it would make the therapists have to explain why Alfie is blameless and can be cured, but the sinners who enjoy being gay are bad people, but can also be cured nonetheless.

    Used copies of this book go for $20-30 on that online book retailer, so weed it, sell it and use the money to buy some Caldecott winners instead.

  • In addition to the strange conclusions noted by others, this book also teaches us that talking to Dad cures molestation, and that molestation = homosexuality.

    This was published in 1993????!!!!!!!!

  • The author has to be the same guy who touts “ex-gay” therapy, and is seen in videos beating a pillow with a tennis racquet while shouting “Mom!” He also is seen cuddling grown men in his lap, trying to recapture lost moments of tenderness with fathers. Creepy as hell.

  • What a book!!
    This author really has given children “a new look at their sexuality”, as the backside of the book proudly announces.

    So… I am attracted to males because I miss my dad and his love?

    Now I really want to buy one and give to a very good (gay) friend of mine. He would be totally rofling all over the place.

    But apart from that one copy, please destroy this stinker of a book. It does not deserve a place in the public. Keep one or two at research facilities, colleges with queer studies and such, but leave the kids alone.

  • Doctor Nicolosi, I can promise you NONE of your patients need psychotherapy. Except to get over your abuse of them.
    I also love the phrase ‘prevention and healing of homosexuality’. It makes being gay sound like an unpleasant toenail disease!

  • @ Thomas – I just looked the author up, and you are quite right. Here’s his Wiki entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_A._Cohen

  • Oh man, this book! So much bizarre. In the first place, it’s an ugly self-pub book, which is plenty of reason not to stock it. In the second place, the information is wrong and it’s promoting conversion therapy, which is illegal in several states.

    Cohen showed up on the Daily Show here:

  • Yes, a really scary, evil book. Gayness is ’caused’ by being abused by a pervert; but, fear not! it can be ‘cured’. Richard Dawkins would no doubt point out that Religion is ’caused’ by being thrust upon children by their deluded parents…

    A book like that would be completely illegal in the UK, though heaven alone knows what some of our ‘Faith Schools’ have in books written in other languages to instil racism/sexism and other forms of ignorance into the tiny developing minds of their pupils.

  • I’m intrigued by the implication that gayness is caused by fathers who work. “Conservative women, don’t let your husband be the breadwinner! Keep him as your househusband or your son will grow up gay!”

    Not seen that one before.

  • It is nothing more than propaganda used to abuse children with.