Dating and Sex

dating sex and frienship


Dating, Sex and Friendship

Another title for Christian teens who are thinking about sex and relationships. Compared to some books we have featured on this site, this is a bit more forthright in explanations, and the examples seem more realistic. However, the chapter on homosexuality was disappointing. Although somewhat more compassionate than other books on Christian dating and relationships, homosexuality is an aberration. As the author is from the UK, the laws surrounding gay rights were problematic, and as the HIV crisis was already looming by 1985, I guess it is not surprising.



dating back cover

pairing off


splitting up




  1. The very fact that masturbation can be described as a “controversial, hush-hush” subject tells me everything I need to know about the author’s world.

    1. That’s how it’s seen by many people who *aren’t* God-fearing. Society believes only fat sweaty virgin male losers who live in their mom’s basement and play Xbox. Society brainwashes young males into believing sex will solve all their problems and if they can’t get it from women, it’s entirely our own fault. And so we have woman-hating incel terrorists with nothing better to do than run over innocent people. Now can someone stop the world so I can get off? 🙁

  2. This book is an absolute weeder due to its age alone. The language and assumptions are dated, but seem accurate for the time. And no, masturbation was not a topic for casual conversation in 1985. In all fairness, the sample pages seem to be written in a measured and thoughtful manner within the framework of Christian relationship advice. Just because one doesn’t accept the basic premise(s) doesn’t really justify the pointing and laughing.

    Also, why are there no sample pages on homosexuality if it’s mentioned in the intro?

  3. I lost it at masturbation being an “offshoot.” Interesting choice of words.

    I just weeded a real gem: a 1985 Christian parenting book about teens with a cover photo straight out of a Steven King movie. I should probably send some pics your way! Surprisingly, the section on coping with sexual assault was very sympathetic (although written only about girls and nothing about male victims). Believe her, support her, remind her that no matter what, the rape was not her fault and the rapist chose to sin, etc. Far better than some of the stuff I heard about rape while growing up in the Southern Baptist Church, which was generally “Be modest and pure or you’ll get raped” with the implication (and in one case, outright stating) that if you don’t follow the rules, God will allow you to be “punished” by a rapist.


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