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Librarian’s Choice

This is Mary and Holly’s catch-all category. Here we feature posts about librarians and libraries as well as just some cool stuff we find. This also where you will find more serious discussions of collection management.

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Things Librarians Say

Holiday Greetings from ALB!

As we put the final touches on our “Best of 2014″ list, Holly and I have made a list of statements we (or one of our co-workers) have made over the years. Show this to your non-library friends whenever they act like they know what library work is all about. We thought you might have some to share too. Please add yours to the comments!

Peace, Love, and Stable Funding for 2015,

Holly and Mary

cat meme“No, I am not hiding the tax forms. They haven’t come in yet.”

“Yes, you must wear shoes, shirt and pants in the library.”

“What do you mean someone found a butcher knife in the toilet?”

“Yes, when there is an ‘out of order’ sign on the printer, it means it is NOT working.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t call another patron and tell them to ‘hurry up and finish’ their book so you can have your turn.”

“What is that smell?”

“No, I don’t know President Obama personally and cannot get him on the phone about your tax refund.”

“Email is not pushing a piece of paper into the disk drive.”

“No, I don’t know your password for email.”

“Guess what I found inside this book?”

“We have no plans to train kids on how to mug people. Our ‘Mug Me’ program is about decorating a coffee mug.”

“Someone better check on Porn Guy.”

“We can get you images of PAINTINGS of Jesus, but there are no PHOTOGRAPHS of Jesus.”

“It’s your turn to move the dead deer in the parking lot.”

“I know you paid a lot in 1986 for your chemistry text, but I am sorry we won’t be able to use it in the collection.”

“No, I don’t need to look at the rash on your chest.”

“Sexkitten1994 is not a good choice for an email when you are applying for a job. How about we make another one?”

“I am going to need the gloves and bleach again.”

“I’m sorry, we don’t have a special summer reading program for the gifted.”

“I’m so sorry you misunderstood that Boogie Nights is a movie not appropriate for children. It is our policy not to comment on patron choices.”

“I’m sorry you are sad, but it is not appropriate for us to put a warning label on a book if the main character dies.”

“No, I am sorry, the library staff cannot watch your baby while you run to Walmart.”

“Is that blood?”

“I guess I am the ‘Head Bitch in Charge’. What can I help you with?

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English Teachers and Dirty Stuff

Obscenity, The Law, And The English Teacher
National Council of Teachers of English
1966

I plucked this one from the catalog of a small/medium sized public library. Let’s face it, the word obscenity always gets my attention. Think of this as “catalog click-bait.”

This is a summary of a couple of conference papers from 1966. I did find it amusing that a lot of the debate centered on the literary merit of books like Tropic of Cancer and Fanny Hill.

I did have time to read a couple of the articles and skim the rest. Sorry, there is no nudity and any sexual references are so boring and sanitized, I wasn’t sure they were talking about dirty books. When teachers and librarians have to deal with issues with censorship, along with the sheer volume of crap on the Internet, this really is a book out of time.

Mary

 

More Dirty Stuff on ALB:

The Bandit Bares It (a fan favorite of ALB!)

Bread Sculpture

Pirate Sex

Real Auto Erotica! (NSFW)

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Your Friday Funny: Nuclear War Fun Book

The Nuclear War Fun Book
Langer and Thomas
1982

Didn’t have any cool fiction to share this week, but I did find this in my pile of weird books. I really didn’t expect to find this book still hanging around in a library, but I was wrong. WorldCat has a bunch of holdings and many are in public libraries. This humor book is certainly a product of the time. I was of the generation that hid under school desks in order to avoid The Bomb. This cracks me up. After you survive the atomic bomb from this book, you can get all your post nuclear holocaust activities and fun in this one.

It’s a blast!

Mary

More nuclear fun:

The End of The World

The Upside of Nuclear War

Russian Phrase Book

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