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Be Bold with Bananas

By | Dec 22, 2011

Be Bold with Bananas
Banana Control Board
1970

Credit goes to Book Riot for bringing this little gem to our attention.  Also, my friend Brian, who sent me that link.  I verified library holdings just to be sure it is an awful “library” book and not just a weird book…and it is.  The holdings are mostly in New Zealand and South Africa, but an ALB is an ALB. Universally.

It’s not just that it is 41 years old.  It’s not just that it has that horrible “plastic food” photography. It’s not just that it has very strange ideas of what to do with bananas.  It’s all of those things combined.

I’m calling it: this one is a weeder.  (And I WANT it for my family’s Christmas gag gift exchange.)

Holly

 

26 Comments so far
  1. chris s December 22, 2011 9:02 am

    Words fail me with that banana candle. Can you imagine that as your holiday table centerpiece?
    And what is that horrific creation with the frills? Happy Holidays to all!

  2. Gerard December 22, 2011 9:23 am

    Looking at the penis salad reminds me of George Takei saying “Oh My…”

  3. Shannon December 22, 2011 9:44 am

    This really makes me want to hurl. The smell of bananas at any time is really gross to me, but the thought of the “candle”sitting at room temperature in the middle of the table…occhhh.
    hope they did not also suggest a banana menorah. Oy vey.

  4. Lurker December 22, 2011 9:58 am

    Ahh yes, this infamous book. I too saw it on Book Riot and was thoroughly put out.

    Also, “Banana Control Board” ? CONTROL?? Just what were they controlling? They couldn’t even control themselves! Banana candle indeed…

  5. Jami December 22, 2011 10:06 am

    Oh my God! It’s a Saturday!

    Okay, I can’t find the video but back in the day when Timer was around hankering for a hunk of cheese, there was this one about making a Saturday. You took a half of a banana, a pineapple ring, a grape, and some cottage cheese, you put the banana in the pineapple ring, covered the ring in cottage cheese, and put the grape on top. It looked so disgusting even in animated form I thought no one would be dumb enough to make one.

    Looks like I’m wrong. They made it, added lettuce, and make it look like it belongs in a scene in a Ron Jeremy production.

  6. Jami December 22, 2011 10:09 am

    Oh! Found it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NozOppLXh18

    I was wrong, it’s not cottage cheese, it’s yogurt.

  7. Andy December 22, 2011 10:29 am

    Thank God there was a posting in between “Be Bold With Bananas” and “Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story”!

  8. Ape December 22, 2011 11:18 am

    Bold banana boners do not blend into the background.

  9. Cheryl December 22, 2011 11:25 am

    WANT. Just for that last picture.

  10. Nanners December 22, 2011 11:49 am

    Why do pictures of food from the 70s always look so heinous? This must be why people were thinner then.

  11. tom December 22, 2011 11:55 am

    An X rated salad, I’ll have to remember that the next time I give a dinner party and want something different. If nothing more it should distract the guests from the pedestrian meat loaf main course.

  12. Betsy December 22, 2011 12:42 pm

    I can remember my mother attempting to make those banana candles — and trying not to curse as they always tipped over.

  13. didi December 22, 2011 3:55 pm

    Love the banana candle. It has definately got to make it to my table for a future dinner party with friends. I have vintage Family Circle cookbooks from the early 70s and I once made a recipe from that in which bananas were dipped in chocolate and frozen for a while. I think the banana candle and my banana popsicles may make great appearences and fits of laughter side by side next time.

  14. J December 22, 2011 4:50 pm

    Hmm–is it really a weeder? Don’t any of you have patrons who are longing to be bold with bananas? Who are we to judge them?

    I think its status should depend on circulation statistics. Because I think it’s safe to say, there won’t be anything more recent that can replace it. ;-)

  15. Colleen December 22, 2011 8:27 pm

    I clearly spend too much time on Regretsy because my first thought was that we need to keep the banana penis away from the banana vaginas lest we end up with more of either.

  16. Rob December 22, 2011 10:50 pm

    Its amazing that its selling for $48 on ABE.

  17. MeanDean December 25, 2011 12:51 am

    In an earlier response, I mentioned an old roommate who worked in an adult bookstore, and would bring home slow-moving products.

    I’m pretty sure we had a video with this title sitting around in the living room, but it had almost nothing to do with cooking.

  18. MeanDean December 25, 2011 12:51 am

    In an earlier response, I mentioned an old roommate who worked in an adult bookstore, and would bring home slow-moving products.

    I’m pretty sure we had a video with this title sitting around in the living room, but it had almost nothing to do with cooking.

  19. Kathy P December 30, 2011 6:49 pm

    I remember making banana candles in Girl Scouts- a pineapple slice was the candleholder, the banana was the candle, and a half maraschino cherry was the flame. Cottage cheese was added to help stablize the candle. The yogurt for the melted wax is a new one to me… Yes, we Girl Scouts did do bizarre stuff like that in the 60s.

  20. Nicola - New Zealand December 31, 2011 12:10 am

    My Mum had this book in the 80s! We actually cooked recipes from it…. Though on. Verification she thinks it was only muffins….

  21. ace January 1, 2012 3:49 pm

    That banana candle is haunting. Remind’s me of somebody whose sister, then a Girl Scout, had to make that. So, picture the following scenario;

    “Hi Mommy. I’m Back”

    “Well, Hi there. Oh, you’ve grown over the past 2 week’s. Let me look at you”

    “At camp, we each had to make something. Here’s what I made.”

    Mom’s jaw crashes through the floor. She is beyond flabbergasted. And, she is very angry that the item was made.

    “You made this? Wow! That look’s terrific”

    “Mommy, can we put it in the center of the table at dinner time?”

    Now Mommy is in a lose/lose situation. If Mommy say’s yes, Mommy, Daddy and 2 children stare at a banana “penis” for dinner, and attempt to eat. If Mommy say’s no, her daughter will be heartbroken.
    Tune in tomorrow to see if the Girl Scout leader get’s her butt reamed

  22. Derek July 21, 2012 11:56 pm

    I picked a copy of this marvellously hideous title at a garage sale about 12 years ago, and I’ve dining out on it ever since. If conversation is stilted at the beginning of a dinner party, I break out Be Bold With Bananas and pretty soon everyone is either laughing hysterically or throwing up. A real crowd pleaser.

  23. Derek July 22, 2012 12:13 am

    I picked up a copy of this marvellously hideous title at a garage sale about 12 years ago, and I’ve been dining out on it ever since. If conversation is stilted at the beginning of a dinner party, I break out Be Bold With Bananas and pretty soon everyone is either laughing hysterically or throwing up. A real crowd pleaser.

  24. Lori September 17, 2012 12:26 pm

    Sometimes a banana is just a banana……

  25. Scott September 17, 2012 3:52 pm

    I bought this book after seeing it on another website – it’s fantastic.

    Basically, take one standard recipe book. For each recipe, add bananas. Then add one banana candle (that’s mayonnaise, by the way). Ta da!

  26. Alex November 21, 2012 1:32 pm

    That “banana” candle made my day!

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